Machew is a guest writer for ETM, and as such the views expressed in this article may not be the views of ETM and its staff.
I used to be a porn addict from my high school years to my third year of college, 1 year into being a Christian. I found that the more I looked at it, the more it attracted the demonic around me, and the more power it had over me because of my agreement with the enemy for it as an acceptable form of coping with my loneliness and inner pain. I didn’t know that this was why I ran to porn at the time, but later found out as God showed me the huge hole in my heart. When I became a Christian and found out that it was not an acceptable way to cope with this, I found out how much power it had over me. I found myself not being able to stop no matter what I did. I went through 8 months of day and night prayer, non-stop, “God help me! I don’t wan’t to do this anymore!.” I felt ashamed of myself, and like I was the filth of his kingdom. I felt like I was a failure as a Christian many nights and that I should just give up. But I didn’t want to give up without a fight. As time went on it just seemed more and more hopeless that I would ever be free from its lure and control. After 8 months of crying out to God, when I just about had it and felt like I just wanted to give up, God showed up in my room in power, and I fell to the floor sobbing in a fetal position all night long, as God told me:
“Matthew you are my precious son, I have never been disappointed in you, and you have brought my heart so much joy”
I thought to myself: “Is He talking about the same Matthew here?”
God: “Matthew, I have so enjoyed watching you these past few hours, you are the source of so much of my joy. You need to know that there is nothing you can do that can separate you from my Love for you and who you are.”
I realized something that day. The reason I felt so trapped in it was because I believed that my sin still separated me from God, and made me feel like God was turning His face away from me. This was shame that the enemy put on me to convince me that I couldn’t approach God. I found out through an encounter with God that this was not true. I kept hearing, “my blood was enough for you.” But I also kept hearing that voice of guilt trying to get me focused back on everything that was wrong with me. Then I heard God say “Don’t let yourself focus on what the accuser is saying to you, you are my son. The only thing you need to do is to be my son! That is who you are and nobody will take you away from me!”
How the enemy kept me trapped:
The sadistic strategic trap of introspection
I found out that I had to take personal responsibility over what I allowed myself to focus on, and that the enemy only had power over me when I made an agreement with him. The way he kept me trapped was to tempt me, then put this fear on me of sinning so that I would feel powerless to do anything about it, then fall into sin, then he would accuse me of doing it over and over again to make the problem seem so big in my head. Later the enemy would continue to plant fear in me of doing it again. The enemy does this to give you the belief that you are trapped and can’t do anything to get out of it.
A good definition of fear is: faith in a lie. The enemy keeps us trapped in sin by having us fear the sin we feel trapped in, then accusing us of doing it until shame is all over us and the problem is so big in our head that we fear it more. This was the endless cycle that I felt trapped in. God showed me all of this and what the enemy was doing in me and freed me from my addiction. To this day(about 6 years) I have been free from this addiction and live in the victory of Jesus in this area of my life.
The common theme in all of this is: The enemy wants to get you to focus on yourself and everything that is wrong with you(introspection) instead of focusing on God’s acceptance and Love for you, and who you are in Christ. If the enemy can get you to see all the problems you have as really big (using tools like: fear, shame, guilt, thoughts that seem like yours but are really lies planted in your head by the enemy) they soon become bigger in your head than the God that can free you, and he empties you of any faith you have that you can be free. The enemy will always try to manipulate you into a place where you believe you are hopelessly left to deal with your problems by yourself (living under the law, which Paul warns against).
I posted this in the hopes that it would help people on here that are struggling with this. There is victory in Christ over porn addictions, and the enemy is a liar. It is the enemy that tempts us, and our choice to give into it. If the enemy can convince you that you are powerless against his temptation, then you will fall into temptation. But if you realize that the enemy is just trying to intimidate you and is trying to convince you that you can’t resist him, then you can realize there is nothing to fear and lift your sword and give the enemy a good wap on the head, “Get behind me satan!” The enemy knows that you are the one with all of the power over yourself (Self-Control, Galatians 5:22-23), so he works overtime to convince you that you don’t have this power over yourself and that he has power over you. Don’t let him talk you out of your self-control any longer! It is for freedom’s sake that Jesus has set you free (Galatians 5:1).
Believing satan’s Lies Opens the Door the Lies of Undermined Self-Worth:
When you come to a place of hopelessness, the enemy then works to undermine your view of yourself and your self-worth with further attacks of lies about yourself. The enemy will often plant in your head thoughts of how worthless you are and how God must see you as a rebellious and worthless son/daughter. Don’t believe this for a second, they are lies from the pit of hell. God was willing to come to earth and humble Himself in making Himself vulnerable to human weakness by coming as a human (Jesus), and be beaten and tortured brutally, then be nailed to a cross in a brutal death, while everyone was in rebellion and sin against God. While people were mocking Him, spitting in His face, and shoving a crown of thorns down his head, he prayed for the Father to forgive us and died on that cross receiving the full wrath of God for your sin (past, present, and future: Hebrews 10:10). You were worth it to Jesus, for Him to endure all of that punishment and even death! Think of how much worth Jesus must have for you to be willing to go through all of this. Jesus did this all for you, so that nothing could separate you from His Love (Romans 8:38). He did everything that was needed on your behalf for the Father to fully approve, accept, and Love you. The Father now sees you as His perfect, beloved son/daughter.
If you struggle with the lies of little self-worth and/or that you can’t control yourself, repeat these declarations over yourself:
1. I no longer believe the lie that I need to fix myself before approaching God
2. I no longer believe the lie that I cannot control myself
3. I no longer believe the lie that I need to fear the enemy’s temptation to guard myself from sin
4. I renounce all power that the enemy has over me in Jesus Name and no longer believe the lie that he has any power over me
5. I no longer believe the lie that I need to fear sin
6. I break all ties with the spirit of fear, shame, and guilt and say that I no longer give you permission to influence me.
7. I no longer believe the lie that sin has a hold over me.
8. I believe the truth, that Jesus freed me from the slavery of sin through His death on the cross and resurrection. (Galatians 2:20-21, Meditate on Romans 8 carefully)
9. I believe the truth that if I repented and meant it, then I have fully repented for my sin regardless of my past addiction
10. I believe the truth, that because I have repented of my sin, my Father in heaven loves me and accepts me right where I am because of the blood of Jesus over my life.
11. I believe the truth, that because of Jesus’ death on the cross I can approach the throne room of God with boldness to ask for help. (Hebrews 4:16)
12. I believe the truth, that God is very eager and happy to help me anytime when I feel lacking and weak.
13. I believe the truth, that I can freely have the fruit of the Spirit of self-control at anytime and that I do have complete control over myself.
14. I believe the truth that in my self-control, I control me, and I don’t have to allow anyone or anything else to control me.
15. I believe the truth, that I am a son/daughter of God, and that I start out and live everyday seen by the Father as the righteousness of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21, Galatians 3:29, Galatians 4:7, Titus 3:7)
The easiest way to give into the enemy’s temptations is to forget who you are as a son and daughter of God. When you don’t remember who you are, and the authority that you carry as co-heirs with Christ, then you will believe the enemy’s lies. You are all sons and daughters of the most High God!
Lastly pray this prayer:
Father thank you that you Love me, and you are delighted to help me out of my addiction. I come to you with boldness as your son/daughter and lean into your embrace and power to free me from addiction to porn. I ask you for help in showing me what causes me to run to this porn, and ask you to deliver me from everything that causes this to even have any appeal in my life. I surrender my life to you Jesus and Your power working in me, and invite You to be my main help for me to have the freedom that you paid for on the cross.
In the Name of Jesus, Amen!
Much Love & Blessings,